


In Pieces

by Inuyke



Category: Motherland: Fort Salem (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/F, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:15:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24252670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inuyke/pseuds/Inuyke
Summary: Raelle's thoughts and feelings to the lyrics of In Pieces by Linkin Park
Relationships: Raelle Collar/Scylla Ramshorn, Raylla-Relatioship
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	In Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time ever posting a story. Please let me know what you think.

_Telling me to go_

Raelle thought about it again. Was Scylla trying to tell her to go at their last dance? What if she had listened to her and just left, would things have turned out different?

_But hands beg me to stay_

But Raelle had begged her to stay. Stay for one more dance. How was she supposed to know that it would be their final dance?

_Your lips say that you love_

The last thing she said to Raelle was I love you. Though she couldn’t say it at that moment, Scylla had to know that she loved her too.

_Your eyes say that you hate_

Did she hate Scylla? Hate her for leaving? Would the next time she look at Scylla be with love or hate? Did it even matter anymore?

_There's truth in your lies_

Was the whole thing a lie? That’s what Anacostia told her. She told Raelle that it was all a lie. That Scylla didn’t really love her. If that’s true, then everything about them was a lie. A dirty lie. For what though? Was it all a game? Was any of it real?

_Doubt in your faith_

Raelle never doubted her beliefs. Being a witch and a healer on the Cession showed her how faith and magic can come together to make a difference. If she was honest with herself, the first time she had doubts in something she believed in, was her mama’s death. It was the first time she believed that there was something inherently wrong with conscription and being made to serve without a choice.

_What you build you lay to waste_

What had she built? Her thoughts of living a long happy life with her mama was gone before she could make any plans. The only other plan that was concrete wasn’t even in place, when Scylla told her that her plan was hot garbage. The only other thing she had built was her endurance and teachings from the military. It wasn’t even her idea, it was Scylla’s. But it was still something. And didn’t Scylla promise her that if she ever got the urge to run, she would take her with her? Didn’t they build something together? Didn’t they make plans? Did any of it matter anymore? Plans. No plans. Relationship. Single. Unit. Nothing made any difference to her. It was all gone.

_There's truth in your lies_

Is love a lie now? Every touch. Every caress. A single tear came down as she remembered every kiss. Did Scylla just feed her lie after lie? If so, why? For what reason? What did she want from her?

_Doubt in your faith_

Is there anything to believe in anymore? What is faith, but something to believe in? Could she believe again? Believe that her mama didn’t suffer. Believe that Scylla actually loved her like she said.

_All I've got's what you didn't take_

What didn’t she take from her? Hopes, dreams, love, acceptance. The only thing that wasn’t taken from her was her healing ability. And her memories.

_So I, I won't be the one_

Giving up is so easy. Struggling is so hard. Breathe in and out. Keeping yourself upright. Living another day. Fighting for what is right. What do I have left?

_Be the one to leave this_

Could she do it? Go back to her original plan. Sacrifice herself on the front lines. Blow herself up? Waste all that youth, beauty and anger. Isn’t’ that what Scylla said to her? Was it a waste? Or was she finally doing things by her terms.

_In pieces_

Her heart was broken into pieces. What a cliché she thought. The same thing that has been said by everyone from books to movies to real life when dealing with heartbreak or trauma. If it wasn’t so sad, she might have laughed. Scylla broke what remained of her heart. It came all full circle.

_And you, you will be alone_

Alone. Once again she was alone. Why did everything and everyone she care about leave? First it was her mama. Then she had to leave her dad, her final link to her mom. Then it was Scylla. She never thought Scylla would leave her though. She got her, she loved her, and she understood her. She lied to her. She had her unit. Once upon a time. But even they left her. After picking her up from the beach, lifting her up, holding her in their arms and “saving her”. They left her. Tally was gone because of the lies. Abigail recovered and Raelle was a liability to her now.

_Alone with all your secrets_

Secrets. Everybody had one. Her secret was the plan on killing herself early. Tally’s secret was not telling her about Scylla. Scylla was full of secrets, so that was an easy one. Even her dad kept secret about how her mama died.

_And regrets, don't lie_

What did she regret? She knew that she regretted her mama dying. Regretted not being able to be the one to save her. Did she regret Scylla? Regret every memory? Regret every kiss? Regret making her the battle charm?

_You promised me the sky_

She promised to take her with her. To the beach. To the lighthouse. It wasn’t the sky or the moon and stars. But it was a happy ending.

_Then tossed me like a stone_

None of it mattered. She left without saying goodbye. She never loved me. I was just a mission to her. An end to the means. I meant nothing to her.

_You wrap me in your arms_

She could still remember what it felt like to be in her arms. Remembered her smell, her touch. She remembered what it was like to fall asleep in her arms. Waking up in her arms was always her favorite thing. And because she sometimes would forget, whenever she woke up now she would feel like she was back in her arms once again but then her chest would hurt and remind her that she was alone once again.

_And chill me to the bone_

If she were to hug Scylla would she feel happy again or would it just be like hugging a stranger? Is it wrong that it was that thought that chilled her to the bone? Not the horrible things that Scylla had done. Not even what she lost. No, what scared her was feeling nothing when she touched Scylla again.

_There's truth in your lies_

Even her mama’s death was a lie. They made it seem like it was a horrible accident. That her mama didn’t suffer, that she wasn’t just tired and just gave up. Glass, that’s all that was left she later found out, they had to chip her away. Even then there wasn’t enough of her for even a decent funeral. Just pieces of glass. For a long time she refused to look in mirrors because it would remind her. Until the day she met Scylla in her room and watched her fix her hair in front of the mirror. It was the first time in a long time that a piece of glass made her think of something besides her mama.

_Doubt in your faith_

Faith is a tricky thing. It can get you through the good and bad times. Faith in your mama coming back like she said she would. Faith that the one girl who gets you completely, loves you like you love her. Faith that you are where you are meant to be, with the people you are meant to be with. Faith in your unit to build you up when you are down. Lift you up when you fall. Faith that Alder would not be leading them to their deaths unnecessarily.

_All I've got's what you didn't take_

What did she have left now? Her mama’s gone. Scylla never loved her. She no longer has a unit. Despite what she may have believed, none of it ever mattered. Tallly lied to her, and Abigail and her were only close because of their shared trauma. So, she has nothing left to believe in.

_So I, I won't be the one_

Everything that means anything to her is gone. Her mama. Scylla. What was the point anymore? What did she have? What was the point in trying to build something if it was just going to go away? She wasn’t going to be the only one to suffer anymore.

_Be the one to leave this_

Every I love you. Every touch. Every kiss. Everything was a lie. That’s what everyone told her about Scylla. What her heart was scared to tell her. Even the military’s morals were a lie. Didn’t alder prove that when she puppeted the Madame president? It was better that Scylla left, it cemented everything that Raelle was taught about abandonment.

_In pieces_

How much longer can she wallow in her pity? So yes, everything she once knew and loved was gone. Her faith was shaken, not gone. No, her faith went deeper than that. She had faith in herself. In her abilities. She was a healer dammit. So she would heal herself. She owed herself that. She alone would fix her broken pieces

_And you, you will be alone_

This next part was more difficult, facing the fact that she was alone once more. Taking a deep breath, she breathes in and out. Concentrating on her breathing, focusing on her pain, letting her tears fall freely. As each tear falls, she heals a bit of herself. Piece by piece, breath by breath. She is doing this alone.

_Alone with all your secrets_

Secrets can’t hurt her anymore. Scylla can’t hurt her anymore.

_And regrets, don't lie_

Regrets are of no use to her. Lies don’t hurt anymore.

_So I, I won't be the one_

Raelle refuses to be a statistic of another witch dead and gone. She wasn’t going to die like Libby. She was going to live and die by her own terms. She was going to be smart about it. She was going to have faith in herself now.

_Be the one to leave this_

She had too much to do. This was not going to be her end. She still had too much living to do. She had to protect Tally and Abigail. They were her sisters. They loved her and she loved them. This much was true. Hadn’t city drop cemented their sisterly bond?

_In pieces_

Contrary to what people may believe. Pieces of a broken heart can and will mend together with no pieces left behind. Contrary to what the other girls on base may think, Raelle can put herself back together on her own. Contrary to what Abigail might think in her high Atlantic way, broken pieces are not proof of weakness, but of strength. Because without broken pieces how can you put things back together again?

_And you, you will be alone_

Raelle no longer feared being alone. Dying alone. Being without love. Being unloved. Being unwanted. No, she would be ok. She would heal right up. It was Scylla who would be alone now. Raelle would move on and fall in love again.

_Alone with all your secrets_

Scylla could keep her secrets. Her lies. Raelle didn’t need any more secrets in her life. She was done with it all. It was time for her new beginning, her new life without Scylla.

_And regrets, don't lie_

Raelle no longer had any regrets. She was ok. She was whole once again. She would be everything she was meant to be. All it took was a lie for her to see her truth.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
